The Reply Girl. (Bullied)

The first time I saw the darkside of YouTube was the mass hatening of Rebecca Black. I felt bad for her, because she didn't deserve it. She had done nothing wrong, she had not offended anyone. Rebecca was just a kid, who made a video. That video lead to the most public, and vocal internet bullying I ever witnessed.

Just because the forum has changed from the playground to the comment section I don't think that the emotional effects are all that diminished. I can only imagine what it's like to have pages, upon pages, of strangers each independent of the other wish me ill will, or that I would die. I personally get excited when I receive any comment. I'm not saying my videos haven't received there fair share of criticism, but it's crazy to see that you have a dislike dark-side light saber beneath your video.

This brings me to TheReplyGirl.


I watch Alejandra's videos, and I feel as if at any moment she's going to burst into tears, and while everyone else screams in caps "stupid bitch", I just feel bad for her. She found a chink in the algorithmic armor of YouTube, and she used it to get herself some exposure. I can't say I would have done anything differently if I were in her shoes, for the 2yrs I've been making creative videos I've barely broken 200 subscribers. I'm not sure what's worse being hated, and living in infamy, or barely existing on anyone's radar?

The YouTube community comes out in droves when it's time to hate. It's an ignorance that isn't unique to YouTube, but is amplified on YouTube. I can only imagine how it must feel to be embarrassed day after day upon the worlds stage. When you make a video you really put yourself out on the line. People see your face, hear your voice, and become familiar with your settings. They have a part of you, and the risk of them having that part is simple. As quickly as the YouTube community can build you up, and create this global, and fanatical love ala Justin Beiber, they can tear you down ala Rebecca Black, and now TheReplyGirls.

On the other hand it has to be said that Alejandra's videos are very simple, and they literally are riding on the backs of other popular more entertaining pieces. If Alejandra's work was more creative in nature, provided an insight, or in some way shape or form enhanced, or had some transformative value she would be celebrated! Lets face it, she's essentially doing what we are all doing on YouTube, turning on a camera, and speaking into it.

Very early on in life I was bullied. In fact things didn't get better for me until Highschool, but I will always remember what that was like. How powerless, and low it could make you feel. Especially when you're bullied by a large group. So Alejandra if you ever do read this, you have my sympathy. My videos looked almost exactly like yours, but because I had no audience I could grow, and refine my craft at my own speed. I hope that you become a better content maker, and one day that mass hate turns into love.

Cheers and ReplyGirl Teddy Bears.

Failed Video Shoot.

I think that it's horrible practice to only share with the world the days where everything is roses. I think projecting the truth ultimately works out for you more favorably than trying to project the image you want to portray. So here are some high resolution stills of a day that didn't go so well. March 1st 2012 to be exact.

It all began with me waking up balls early on a cold living room floor. I scrambled around, showered, dressed, and grabbed at least 50 pounds worth of camera equipment, and made my way to the Wix lounge. I was scheduled to shoot a scene at 10am for my own personal project entitled "A Modern Deal with the Devil" which I will post up on the feature script section of the blog, because lord only knows when the last time I updated that section.

My actress didn't show, and we essentially looked like fools who set up lights in the corner of a room only to break them down. We did manage to take these sad pictures as all the other creative professionals around us were amazingly productive.

Without a video project in hand we decided to get a bite to eat that was inexpensive, and not as bad for us as a 4 course meal at McDonald's. The obvious choice was a Sub from Subways. On my way into the Subway I stop and read a sign on the door that said "Bacon, Egg, and Cheese flat bread sandwich all day!" I thought to myself out loud, as I usually do, "hmmm that sounds good, all day you say Subway? I'll bite" I proceeded to order, and my gracious sandwich consultant cut me off to inform me where the 5 dollar foot long menu was. I told him "That's nice, but I just would like the Bacon, Egg, and Cheese sandwich advertised on the door. He told me no that's all day in March, and another Sandwich consultant opened the door and said "Yes all day in April". I ended up ordering a Black forest ham sandwich which I wasn't too keen on, as you can see.

Finally taking it all in, I passed an artist on the street who put everything into perspective for me. As bad as my day was it had to be an iota of shit in comparison to hers, considering she was drawing while sitting on the semi wet ground. I thought the image semi poetic, and iconic. I asked her if I could snap an image, and she said yes. All in all, not the day I wanted to have, but I bet it was the day I needed to have.

Cheers and Painfully Human Teddy Bears!

Mercedes Benz Fashion Week Day 1

So I've been busy with Fashion Week, which is actually a very awkward sentence for me to type because I'm probably the least fashionable creative on the planet. With me anytime is a good time for a graphic t-shirt, some jeans, and a pair of adidas but this week isn't about my lack of style, but about all the gorgeous people buzzing about from show to show picking up what's new, and in style.

I'm proud to say that this Fashion Week I can claim the Street Style Photographer Badge as I took a few pics before and after the Richard Chai show. Now I'm no Mr. Newton, but I'm not too shabby.

I'm also cutting up my video for Bloggers Night Out, the girls pulled out all the stops on Feb 9th at Caulfield. The crowd was huge, the drunks free, and a good night was had by anyone who I didn't bump into with my camera.

I don't have anything too intense planned for the rest of the week maybe a bit more streetstyle, and I'll try to make a mini video recap of all the amazing that went on.

Cheers and Runway Teddy Bears!

*Edit*- Images no longer lose saturation when enlarged.

What's My Motivation?

My latest work. I enjoyed this one. Does it relate to the post? Not really. Is it awesome? Yes.

I am in deep conflict with myself, to be more specific with my past self (Joshen of 2005-2006). It's around late 2005 that I decided to become a screenwriter. It turns out that decision lead to the creation of a business, and me developing artistic skills I never dreamed I would be capable of. For all this I'm very thankful of my past self, but my motivation, both past, and present,  is what is creating a bit of a dilemma today. In 05 my reasoning was that I could easily make up to 3 million dollars off the sale of one amazing feature script to a major studio, and that was all I needed to push forward. Today, I am not satisfied with my work, because I feel as though I'm not always making a piece of beauty, sometimes I feel like I'm unsuccessfully selling my creative vagina. Now before we condemn the "05 version of me of being a greedy capitalist snob, who is only motivated by capital gains, lets put it out there that I come from a horrible socio-economic situation, and my goal for many years was to figure out a way to escape said situation.

The problem persists because as I develop into this creative being, my motivation to profit never waned. It's then a toss up in my own mind whether I'm trying to create, and capture beauty, or I'm simply trying to justify the means to an ultimate end.

I watched a documentary last night that made me feel horrible about myself, it then proceeded to inspire me, and gave me a sense of pride for what I am, and could potentially be. It was called Bill Cunningham New York (Available on Netflix, and here), and it was a brief glimpse into the life of what I would consider a true master of the arts. Bill lived modestly, and is kind beyond words. He has chronicled the people of New York, and fashion in ways that I fear may one day be lost. He is an artist and his reward is finding beauty in an eternal search for more. I recommend watching Bill Cunningham NY, as it was a moving experience for me, as a New Yorker, and as a creative. Bill tips the scales in a conundrum I often think about, what's more important the journey, or the destination?


Cheers and "Honest, and Straight New York" Teddy Bears!

Reborn Moments (My Corner Office)

I would give my empire for a desk, and bookshelf. Sadly, I have to make due with what I have, and that's a table and a corner of the living room. This is where all the deep thought takes place, where I spend hours on end working away at my computer, and where I figure out how to make something out of nothing. When I'm feeling discouraged I just look at the wall and it reminds me of how far I've come, and where I'm going. This corner office is probably the best thing I've done so far.

I think everyone needs a space where no matter what they are doing it there feels like it's of the utmost importance.

Also I would like to send many thanks to Pat Bat, who did this awesome piece of art, randomly. Two years ago the only people who correlated the name Joshen with any importance was my parents, today we can add a few hundred more to the list, and it feels awesome.

First video of the line from the new corner office.


The video to my surprise almost broke 1000 views. I enjoyed making it, and I'm trying to get back to enjoying everything I make. I want to add more of my secret ingredient to all my videos; love, and alcohol.

Baby steps.

Cheers and Productive Teddy Bears!