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Feature Script


 A Modern Deal With The Devil
                                     By Joshen Reborn



                 INT. LIVINGROOM - DAY

                 Joshen is seen wearing a wig. There are 3 lights on
                 facing him. He takes a breath and turns on a camera
                 directly facing him. 

                                         JOSHEN
                           This has been moments of wisdom
                           with aunty mama. Don't forget to
                           show mama some love! Leave a
                           comment, and please subscribe.
                           Please. Anyone, subscribe. I'm
                           begging just give me a chance, and
                           subscribe.

                 Joshen hangs his head and throw his wig to the ground. He
                 cuts the camera off

                                         JOSHEN (CONT'D)
                            I don't even know why I'm still
                           trying.

                                                                  CUT TO:



                 EXT. PARK - DAY

                 Vdeovxn is sitting on a park bench dropping bread crumbs
                 onto the ground.

                                         JOSHEN
                           I think I'm gonna quit

                                         VDEOVXN
                           We're having that talk again?

                                         JOSHEN
                           Dude it's been two years, and we
                           haven't accomplished shit. If
                           anything, we're less known today
                           than ever before.

                                         VDEOVXN
                           Look you can be all
                           IhaveNoSubs.Com if you want, but
                           you really need to be on your
                           GrustleHarderThanBefore.Org

                                         JOSHEN
                           Why are you doing that?

                                         VDEOVXN
                           Why am I LayingKnowledgeOnYou.edu?

                                         JOSHEN
                           No, why are you saying things in
                           URL form? Please stop.

                                         VDEOVXN
                           You need to Bit.ly/GetWithIt. I'm
                           tired of hearing you complain.
                           Look you got two choices you could
                           keep hustling, and pray things get
                           better, or you could sell your
                           soul for a million subs now,
                           because neither will work. You
                           need to just
                           ManUpAndKeepMakingVideos.gov.

                                         JOSHEN
                           Alright.

                                         VDEOVXN
                           Want to drop bread on the floor?

                                         JOSHEN
                           But there aren't any pigeons.

                                         VDEOVXN
                           Pigeons are a state of mind.

                                         JOSHEN
                           What?

                                         VDEOVXN
                           Exactly.

                                                                 FADE TO:



                 INT. LIVINGROOM - DAY

                 Joshen sits down to his open laptop. He Googles. 

                                         JOSHEN
                           Does prayer work? 

                 The most popular Yahoo answer pops up as no. He then
                 Googles. 

                                         JOSHEN (CONT'D)
                           How to sell your soul?

                 Satan.com Pops up as the first result. Satan.com asks to
                 authenticate via Facebook, or Twitter.

                                         JOSHEN (CONT'D)
                           Please read the terms of agreement
                           (9000 pages long). Allow Satan.com
                           to claim your immortal soul, post
                           to your wall, and share updates
                           with your friends. (Joshen clicks
                           authorize) Please make your
                           request in detail.

               Joshen types I want to be most subscribed on YouTube. He hits
               submit. A pop up prompt says Congratulations you are number
               one on Youtube.

                                                                  CUT TO:



                 INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT

                 Joshen heads to bed. He closes his eye's but cannot
                 fall asleep.  He notices a demonic version of himself
                 huddled in the corner staring at him. Morning comes with
                 Joshen clutching on the bed sheets. He looks into the
                 corner, and the demon is gone.

                                                                  CUT TO:



                 INT. LIVINGROOM - DAY

                 Joshen opens his laptop, and checks YouTube.

                                         JOSHEN
                           I've got no fucking views this is
                           bullshit.

                 He heads to the Satan.com's Facebook App. 

                                         SATAN.COM
                           You only have one soul to sell, if
                           you have questions or comments
                           please call this toll free number.

                 Joshen opens his cellphone, and dials

                                         SATAN.COM (CONT'D)
                           You have reached satan.com no
                           matter what language you speak
                           please hold. 

                 Joshen is seen holding for a long time

                                         JOSHEN
                           This holding is hell.

                                         SATAN.COM
                           Thank you for holding, please
                           prepare to hold.

                                         JOSHEN
                           Oh my g..

                                         LILITH
                           Thank you for calling Satan.com,
                           Lilith speaking, please watch your
                           language.

                                         JOSHEN
                           Hello Lilith, I sold my soul
                           yesterday to be most subscribed on
                           YouTube, and I seem to have lost
                           my ability to sleep, and there's a
                           demon that looks like me in my
                           bedroom for most of the night, but
                           the real problem is my videos
                           aren't getting any views.

                                         LILITH
                           No problem Mr. Reborn, I'll be
                           glad to assist you with all your
                           contractual needs. Did you read
                           the terms of agreement before
                           clicking authorize?

                                         JOSHEN
                           No.

                                         LILITH
                           Well it's clearly stated in
                           paragraph four of subsection 8952
                           that the lack of a soul will
                           result in the inability to sleep,
                           mild depression, callousness
                           towards people, and animals, as
                           well as having to deal with the
                           demonic projection of your soul
                           from midnight to about dawn until
                           you die, and make your way to hell
                           where all kinds of unspeakable
                           torture can begin.

                                         JOSHEN
                           Well that doesn't explain why I'm
                           not getting views. I'm supposed to
                           be rich, famous, I'm number one on
                           YouTube.

                                         LILITH
                           Mr. Reborn you were asked to put
                           what you wanted for your soul down
                           in detail, and all you wrote was I
                           want to be number one on Youtube.
                           Satan.com is not liable to provide
                           anything for said soul that is not
                           requested upon authorization of
                           the app. Is there anything else I
                           can help you with?

                                         JOSHEN
                           Well can I have my soul back?

                                         LILITH
                           Sure.

                                         JOSHEN
                           Really?

                                         LILITH
                           No, thank you for calling
                           Satan.com, We will be seeing you
                           in exactly five years.

                                         JOSHEN
                           What?

                                         LILITH
                           Have a nice day!

                 Lilith hangs up the phone.

                                         JOSHEN
                           (Screams)Fuuuuuuuuuuuu

                                                                  CUT TO:



                 INT. BEDROOM - DAY

                 Joshen wakes up in his bedroom

                                         JOSHEN
                           Oh my god it was all a dream.

                 Demon Joshen approaches

                                         DEMON JOSHEN
                           You can't sleep, you can't dream!

                 Joshen screams

                                                                  CUT TO:



                 EXT. PARK - DAY

                 Joshen wakes up on the bench

                                         JOSHEN
                           Oh shit, it's like inception I was
                           dreaming.

                 Demon Joshen Next to him on the bench

                                         DEMON JOSHEN
                           You can't sleep, you can't dream!

                 Joshen screams.

                                                            FADE TO BLACK.

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