A Modern Deal With The Devil By Joshen Reborn INT. LIVINGROOM - DAY Joshen is seen wearing a wig. There are 3 lights on facing him. He takes a breath and turns on a camera directly facing him. JOSHEN This has been moments of wisdom with aunty mama. Don't forget to show mama some love! Leave a comment, and please subscribe. Please. Anyone, subscribe. I'm begging just give me a chance, and subscribe. Joshen hangs his head and throw his wig to the ground. He cuts the camera off JOSHEN (CONT'D) I don't even know why I'm still trying. CUT TO: EXT. PARK - DAY Vdeovxn is sitting on a park bench dropping bread crumbs onto the ground. JOSHEN I think I'm gonna quit VDEOVXN We're having that talk again? JOSHEN Dude it's been two years, and we haven't accomplished shit. If anything, we're less known today than ever before. VDEOVXN Look you can be all IhaveNoSubs.Com if you want, but you really need to be on your GrustleHarderThanBefore.Org JOSHEN Why are you doing that? VDEOVXN Why am I LayingKnowledgeOnYou.edu? JOSHEN No, why are you saying things in URL form? Please stop. VDEOVXN You need to Bit.ly/GetWithIt. I'm tired of hearing you complain. Look you got two choices you could keep hustling, and pray things get better, or you could sell your soul for a million subs now, because neither will work. You need to just ManUpAndKeepMakingVideos.gov. JOSHEN Alright. VDEOVXN Want to drop bread on the floor? JOSHEN But there aren't any pigeons. VDEOVXN Pigeons are a state of mind. JOSHEN What? VDEOVXN Exactly. FADE TO: INT. LIVINGROOM - DAY Joshen sits down to his open laptop. He Googles. JOSHEN Does prayer work? The most popular Yahoo answer pops up as no. He then Googles. JOSHEN (CONT'D) How to sell your soul? Satan.com Pops up as the first result. Satan.com asks to authenticate via Facebook, or Twitter. JOSHEN (CONT'D) Please read the terms of agreement (9000 pages long). Allow Satan.com to claim your immortal soul, post to your wall, and share updates with your friends. (Joshen clicks authorize) Please make your request in detail. Joshen types I want to be most subscribed on YouTube. He hits submit. A pop up prompt says Congratulations you are number one on Youtube. CUT TO: INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT Joshen heads to bed. He closes his eye's but cannot fall asleep. He notices a demonic version of himself huddled in the corner staring at him. Morning comes with Joshen clutching on the bed sheets. He looks into the corner, and the demon is gone. CUT TO: INT. LIVINGROOM - DAY Joshen opens his laptop, and checks YouTube. JOSHEN I've got no fucking views this is bullshit. He heads to the Satan.com's Facebook App. SATAN.COM You only have one soul to sell, if you have questions or comments please call this toll free number. Joshen opens his cellphone, and dials SATAN.COM (CONT'D) You have reached satan.com no matter what language you speak please hold. Joshen is seen holding for a long time JOSHEN This holding is hell. SATAN.COM Thank you for holding, please prepare to hold. JOSHEN Oh my g.. LILITH Thank you for calling Satan.com, Lilith speaking, please watch your language. JOSHEN Hello Lilith, I sold my soul yesterday to be most subscribed on YouTube, and I seem to have lost my ability to sleep, and there's a demon that looks like me in my bedroom for most of the night, but the real problem is my videos aren't getting any views. LILITH No problem Mr. Reborn, I'll be glad to assist you with all your contractual needs. Did you read the terms of agreement before clicking authorize? JOSHEN No. LILITH Well it's clearly stated in paragraph four of subsection 8952 that the lack of a soul will result in the inability to sleep, mild depression, callousness towards people, and animals, as well as having to deal with the demonic projection of your soul from midnight to about dawn until you die, and make your way to hell where all kinds of unspeakable torture can begin. JOSHEN Well that doesn't explain why I'm not getting views. I'm supposed to be rich, famous, I'm number one on YouTube. LILITH Mr. Reborn you were asked to put what you wanted for your soul down in detail, and all you wrote was I want to be number one on Youtube. Satan.com is not liable to provide anything for said soul that is not requested upon authorization of the app. Is there anything else I can help you with? JOSHEN Well can I have my soul back? LILITH Sure. JOSHEN Really? LILITH No, thank you for calling Satan.com, We will be seeing you in exactly five years. JOSHEN What? LILITH Have a nice day! Lilith hangs up the phone. JOSHEN (Screams)Fuuuuuuuuuuuu CUT TO: INT. BEDROOM - DAY Joshen wakes up in his bedroom JOSHEN Oh my god it was all a dream. Demon Joshen approaches DEMON JOSHEN You can't sleep, you can't dream! Joshen screams CUT TO: EXT. PARK - DAY Joshen wakes up on the bench JOSHEN Oh shit, it's like inception I was dreaming. Demon Joshen Next to him on the bench DEMON JOSHEN You can't sleep, you can't dream! Joshen screams. FADE TO BLACK.
Feature Script
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