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Shocking Developments

How can I say goodbye to what we had, I dont think I can. Developments taking place that are just shocking. News damn it bad news


Nobody likes it, nobody wants it, yes thats right its filler. Useless wasteful post that goes nowhere and accomplishes nothing. I need to get an event going or have some spectacular sex so I can blog. Damn it no news is boring news

As we lay

Whoa, its morning
And we slept the night away
It happened
Now we cant turn back the hands of time, no, no
Yes we've stolen this moment
We forgot to face one simple fact
We both belong to someone else
As we slept the night away
Its morning
Sunlight shines across your sleeping face, oh
A new day
Brings reality and we both go our separate ways
What a lovely night we had yeah, yeah
As we shared each others love
We forgot about all the pain we caused
As we slept the night away
As we lay
We forgot about tomorrow
As we lay
Ooh hey, hey
As we lay
Didnt think about
The price wed have to pay
No, no, no

Shirley Murdock As we lay, Has me in the mood to just lay someone down and cut all ti fucking crap out. I just really wish I could have something slow passionate, I really want to make love. Just in a way I know it can be appreciated. Where its not the action its the connection, you don't have any doubt any fair any rhyme or reason its the next level of sex. Doesn't it sound spectacular for real.

Thats my late night rant

You Could Have Whatever You Like

I spent an obscene amount of time caught in awkward day dream. I keep falling into the same repetitive cycle of progress followed by stagnance. I think I finally reached the upward swing cycle again, or atleast the door to the upward swing . All in all I only wish that I could be satisfied with the life I may inevitably lead. I see a blue collar future leading towards a white collar upswing, eventually achieveing middle class wealth, dying and giving my children a slightly better start than what I had. I hate this vision, its almost like a curse being whispered gently into my ears while I am forced to listen to it over and over every minute of everyday. I as selfish as it sounds, realized a long time ago that I dont want to live comfortably; I want to live lavishly.

I also came to acknowledge in the scheme of things when it comes down to the age at which wealth is created I am relatively old. There seems to be a fleet of 21 and below movers and shakers who are already established, and are now in the retension phase of wealth. I am still working on innovation, penetration and diversification.

The list of people I owe a better life due to the acts of boundless kindness they have shown me is surprisingly long, so long it crosses international waters onto atleast three continents. I want to be able to look someone in the eyes and honestly say dont worry you can have whatever you like!

Which brings me to my next point T.I. has been spinning on my MP3 player on repeat for about a week, and its still getting me fired up. I got to hand it to the man when you got it, you got it.

Coming around full circle I had a few wild weekends of drinking and partying which so reminded me of the old days when my main focus was creating a legend for myself, which I did, in several different towns and atleast two states. I had the scene on lock, and then, go figure sometime along the way my priorities simply took a shift. Damn shifting priorites! Im still wondering why they didnt shift to something even more fun than being hedonistic.

Just to come back full circle, I am not the only one working on making this lavish lifestyle a reality, I have several friends and aquintances who are driven, who are hungry and who know boundless struggles all perfect reasons to want to succeed, all perfect catalyst to success. The issue with me was never when the come up was going to happen its always been how soon till then. Everything in between me and that final destination point just seems like Im being still. I have to keep my eye on the prize and stay on that perpetual grind. So with my re-return to the blogging world after about a 2 week break I leave these final words. Grind on and grind hard, really bend life over and fuck the shit out of it till you are the only one satisfied and life just feels like a dirty used peice of meat. Thats the way I want to get it in!


I opened up and was left naked and vulnerable. I just cant ehlp the feeling that I am now exposed to the world for a cruel un-usual twist. In other news the up-coming weekend is bound to be fun, parties and video games seem to be abundant in the near future

Attraction and Trust

Attraction like trust can not be created or destroyed merely transformed into a different state of being. All the trust and attraction that will ever exist has already existed, and thus is eternal. If the concept of time remains as constant as is, and everything both abstract and physical is eternal, that means life is not destroyed merely transformed to what we know as death which too can be transformed with the application of temperature, pressure, and or energy. Or maybe what we believed to be true is wrong, things can be created or destroyed. Maybe we aren't as smart as we think

Feeding the soul

So this has to be like the 5th or 6th day I havent had a full meal to eat. I have had like a half pack of ritz in the morning and the rest of the pack at night and I been going strong just with that. I really do not want to eat the food offered to me here, because this food is not un-conditional, There isnt enough for me here anyway, so although I love my mom to death, I just cant eat here point blank. You really cant gripe about being a non contributor if I don't consume resources. Pride has set me down a long difficult road, that has made me so strong. With my new found strength I am as close to being absolutely sure as I can be that no finiancial set back can approach me that I wont be able to face, weather and overcome.

Waiting for my Catalyna Wine Mixer to come this way. Haven't you heard that Bird is the word. When I look back I'm not going to remember any of those oh so funny lines.

Writing is it's own reward.

SO I started writing articles for a gaming website and they started to pay me. YAAAAY! I couldnt believe what was going on, like somewhere out there people actually care what my opinions are. Naturally I wrote a bunch of articles and I will continue to write articles because this makes me happy. I will continue my blogging here on the regular for two important reasons,

1 This was my return to blogging
2 I like to blog, it makes me happy.

Oh Dave Chappelle on inside the actors studio was one of the greatest things my eyes and ears had the pleasure of experiencing.

All in all pretty lame day lol. Played lots of games, tomorrow the job hunt resumes after the screen writer meet!

Things Fall apart, but then they fall back together somehow

I cant believe I can finally report something positive, I trained my younger sister in the art of interview and the fruits of my efforts came back to me. First interview first job. I can not believe how well this worked. I need to find myself a job now, which is the real challenge. I am content, I am writing, I am gaming, I am learning, why not feel good. Now it has come to my attention that I still have no readers, but I hope if trend continues things will change, and I will have sweet sweet readers the other half of the reading equation. I think I might break into free verse poetry

I have experienced the darkest of days, I looked the struggle in the eyes and it wept.
To defeat the god of slow stoic death, how?
I train, My will, I fall prey to my needs and neglect my wants.
If there was a time when I doubted the dawn it was now.
Etch your soul on the winds.
Carry your words into eternity.

Yeah my poetry sucks but I am so happy I had a mediocre day. they are so few and far in between almost makes me hopeful that good days are to come.

Edit: The Bailout is in motion. And Palin is getting dusted in this debate.

Progress is the bee's knees

Well I started this blog to get me writing. I got writing again and then I started another blog, I started my second blog and then I started a story, I am thinking of ways to adapt my story to script form. I love the feeling of progress, it gives life purpose. I remember being stoic for at least a year in total. Nothing in the world was more depressing, more disturbing, more disgusting then wallowing in self pity for a year.

Now focus in for me, I have had long periods of time pass me, that were down right enjoyable. I have spent most my life in blissful nothingness, but this time the nothing was different. It was consuming it overpowered me. Now tell me what sets one set of stagnant aside from another? The possibility of progress. My life froze in nothing and because of that depression set in. Now when your training learning working or just verbing or have the potential to do something, in the future, nothing loses its power.

Its easy to get lost in immobility. Progress is the cure all. Because progress fosters hope.

Random rant : Little known fact, Males can get yeast infections too? Oh and moonshine is so easy to make, this is courtesy of the learning channel.
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